Let's try this one more time, ok? Now that summer is nearing its end and school is back in session, maybe I can be proactive and revive this thing yet again. The past few years have all felt like a blur and now that both kids are in school, it feels like there will be parts of my life (*cough*this blog*cough) that may return to what it used to be. Or maybe it'll be slightly different because things and people and life changes things. In any case, here I am trying to make sense of it all.

We just wrapped up the first week of the school year with lots of smiles. Akira turned 4 (!) on the first day of school this past Monday and that was both incredible and devastating all the same. When did my not-so-tiny baby get big enough to be in school with his now 2nd grade (!!) sister? It's hard to believe that on one hand, I've reached the finish line for staying at home with them. On the other, a new normal is just beginning--one that involves huge chunks of my day without either of them trying to vie for my attention, without having to go on grocery runs with at least one of them in tow, without having to play referee as soon as they see each other in the afternoon. I'm now learning to navigate the hours without them, both a thrilling and slightly melancholy feeling, if I'm being honest. Someone I know recently mentioned to me that I've gone full speed for the past seven years and that I ought to take some time for myself. Jesse even said that I shouldn't try to rush into anything if I didn't want and to simply enjoy the stillness in being alone without having to worry about the kids at every waking hour. While I reluctantly agree, it is definitely a readjustment period for me, too. There's the societal pressure and expectation that I would return to work since my "work" is no longer at home with me. I know that no one means harm by asking what my next move will be, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it gives me anxiety. For now, I'd like to breathe and be the kind of mom who makes bento lunches for her kids and just enjoys it, mmmkay?

Speaking of bento lunches, I've been asked about them recently and am happy to share what I did and what kinds of bento boxes I use. I found the bento boxes at Super H-Mart in town and at Target. They're nothing fancy, and although I can't vouch for them, I've heard good things about brands like PlanetBox and Bentgo. As for the ones I use for my kids, they're pretty basic (read: inexpensive) but I haven't had any issues with spillage or leaks. They're narrower but stackable and if you don't have a Super H-Mart nearby, Amazon has really similar bentos available!

Now, for the food. For the first time, I actually set aside time on the Sunday before the first day of school to prep all the food for the week. I love Just One Cookbook and all of her recipes so I was delighted to find that she had a video in this blog post to guide me through 3-days' worth of bento lunches for the kids. On the non-bento days, she makes them sandwiches, but I just sent them to school with leftovers. Also, something to note about bento lunches is that the food is made to be able to be eaten at room temp, so no reheating involved! The meals included karaage (Japanese fried chicken), chicken soboro (ground chicken with rice), and onigirazu (Japanese rice 'sandwich'). Then there are the sides like a grated carrot salad and a Korean sesame spinach salad. All of these foods compliment each other nicely and are really palatable, especially for kids. Plus, it looks pretty and when food looks pretty, kids are more likely to try it, right? Right?!
I'm looking forward to coming up with my own lunch combinations for them and seeing what works and what doesn't. This could be a huge win or could be a glorious disaster. Either way, it's worth trying out, especially since I've got the time to do it. Would you try it? What kinds of bento lunches would you want your kids to have? Happy weekend! Maybe you'll try this over the weekend! ;-)

While many of you know that I've been staying at home with the kids for the past several years, I also am a part of something else that I hold near and dear. And it's something I'm excited to be a part of because, while it has been indescribably rewarding to truly shape my kids and watch them come into themselves, I know that I personally have struggled with being "just" that. I say "just" in quotation marks because, obviously, being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job. It's often times exhausting and thankless and stressful and is completely pro-bono 100% of the time. But for me, there were times that I would feel that I wasn't enough. For myself. Before we get into all of the reasons why I should be gentler with myself (and trust me, there are a myriad of reasons), I want to say with complete support to the mamas who have made and are making the choice to solely be with their kids, I see you. I hear you. You are amazing. And to the others who are going through their own struggles of having to work or choosing to work or even wanting to work, I see you, too. I hear you, too. And you are also amazing.

That said, I recently became the manager to the flagship store location of The LB Brand.

Jen Roberts, the founder of the brand (who happens to also be my most serendipitous friend), started this brand from her kitchen table when she was a new mom navigating motherhood shortly after losing her own mother. She found herself in motherless motherhood. Wrap your head around that. You know how moms rely on each other? Facebook groups, mom groups, "Moms Night Out"s all exist because of the community that is so vital in lifting each other up and supporting each other. And a huge part of being a mother is being able to go back talk to your own mom about experiences or difficulties or milestones that happen as they come. But she didn't have that. Instead, she took her pain and emotional chaos and turned it into what is now The LB Brand.

Anyone who meets her is immediately inspired. She exudes an energy about her that brings people to want to tell their own stories. She empowers those who have had their own traumas and challenges to breathe and sit with their feelings because, quite honestly, everyone needs to feel things to understand what's happening to them. And her brand, this company, embodies all of that.

The thing is, there is no one way to be a mother. It is life-changing, to say the least. Yes, there are parts of me that will always be the same. There are other parts of me, bigger parts of me, however, that have shifted and evolved into something richer and deeper, hopefully wiser and more patient. I couldn't be more proud of the place I work and its core message: Live Bold.

Admission: I suck at keeping up with this blog. I didn't use to. There was a time when I was hungry to write and ramble. I would write about daydreams I had, places I wanted to visit, food I wanted to eat and clothes I wanted to wear. That was a time before children and time seemed so much slower and haphazard. It has admittedly been harder to carve time out of my day to find a quiet moment to sit still, let alone focus on a post that I want to share. But amidst all the chaos that has recently been the norm in our house (School is back in session! Akira is in pre-school! Anaïs rides the school bus and is now in 1st grade! I'm working part-time! And still running a household and a puppy!), the dust settled, even if only for a moment, enough for me to breathe and get back into doing something I remember I once loved to do.

Last year, I made it a goal of mine to read more. Just how much more was up to me but I gave myself a goal of thirty books for the year. And guess what: I actually reached it. I read memoirs and both fiction and non-fiction works. I read books on social justice and culture, family histories and anecdotes from first-generation American writers.

Some books were just so beautifully written like Pachinko by Min Jin Lee and Nina Riggs' The Bright Hour. Dennis Lehane's Since We Fell was a four-hundred plus page thriller I couldn't put down. And Hunger by Roxane Gay was emotional and raw and made me feel so many different things. Reading so much last year rekindled my love with books and gave me a better way to wind down at the end of the night instead of mindlessly scrolling through all my social media apps on my phone. Reading made me more empathetic and allowed me to let my mind explore other worlds outside of my own. And I noticed that my children started picking up more books themselves!

This year, I'm going to make it a point to read even more. I'm shooting for forty books and would love recommendations from you! I'm currently in the throes of The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin and I'm loving every page so far.

So tell me, what should I put on my list this year?

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Being current on this blog has been quite the challenge for me over the past few years. It's not that I would forget--it's that I was constantly pushing it to the back of my mind because I felt I had nothing to say. I felt like my posts were stale.